I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
