his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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