She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
