Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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