I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
