I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if i died would you start the facebook group?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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