mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
