i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
