She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
