Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It was confusing and full of hummus
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
