You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
