what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
