Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
