Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
