margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
