Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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