wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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