Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
