Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
