you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
