I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize