Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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