Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
