if i can run in heels then i can drive
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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