Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he puts the penis in happiness.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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