And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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