The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
