so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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