thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
