I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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