I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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