I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
