I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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