Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
