so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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