HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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