And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
