Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
