Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize