You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
