YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
