2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
