I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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