so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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