got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
