We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
