Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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