I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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