i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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