im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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